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One Shitty Day

March 11, 2011

Disclaimer: This is as personal as I’ll ever get on this blog. Hopefully the last, but I feel some need to share or at the least to vent.

This won’t be the shittiest day of my life but it’s definitely on my top ten. Today was the funeral of my uncle. Between when I first heard the news and before the start of the church service I went on going with my life not allowing it to affect me or at least not showing that it affected me burying the emotions of anger and sorrow down. I was fine during the viewing and as a paul bearer, but when we got to the church I was also given the responsible of doing the first reading.  Half way though my reading I got caught up in the moment, and the water works started. I couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t curse (being in a church an all), I couldn’t make some sort of clever remake during my reading to lighten the mood, but all I could do was stand there reading through my tears. Some of you out there maybe wondering to yourself why I maybe angry over his death. It’s because he was a solider, a war hero, a fighter, and not someone who I would expect to give up on their own life without a fight. To me that’s what he did, his kidneys were failing, he could have continued dialysis living a relatively normal life, and waited for a transplant. But that was not the case he chose to wither and die. Anyway, my father gave a beautiful eulogy that my mother wrote, but my father gladly took credit for. My uncle was buried at a military cemetery with honors, a 21 gun salute, bagpipes, the hole 9. It was a relatively nice day all things considered. If your going to take anything out of this it’s that I put on a pretty cynical exterior, and with all the death and destruction in the world it’s easy to be apathetic, but if you find yourself caught up in the moment and find yourself feeling or expressing some sort of emotion don’t worry your only human.

That was me venting some personal shit. After this post I will go back to the regularly scheduled programming of comic books, movies, TV, and everything in between.

Till next time space cowboys (and possible cowgirls),

M.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 12, 2011 12:10 am

    Thanks for posting this MSpot. My grandmother died a couple of weeks back. I have been having a rough go lately because of that and other personal reasons.

    Getting through these types of things always seems easier than it turns out to be.

    And I couldn’t agree with you more when you say, “I put on a pretty cynical exterior, and with all the death and destruction in the world it’s easy to be apathetic, but if you find yourself caught up in the moment and find yourself feeling or expressing some sort of emotion don’t worry your only human.”

    I feel the same way.

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